Plus One

Worried about dating someone with kids? It doesn’t have to be as fraught with drama as the movies make it out to be, promises Neeti Jaychander

- Neeti Jaychander

Dating someone with children can be challenging because it adds another layer of complexity to what is still a new, unsteady equation. In a way, it’s like you’re skipping a few steps ahead in your relationship, going from partners to parents much sooner than the norm. It’s not unusual to feel some trepidation going into a situation like this, but it doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker. Here are a few ways to avoid unnecessary conflict and give your relationship a fighting chance.

Don’t rush into meeting the kids

Sure, you’re excited to meet the most important people in his life, and connect with them. It is best, however, to wait until you’re reasonably sure of a commitment from the father.

Sundaran Mahesh, psychiatrist and counsellor with an MNC in Chennai, says, “See if you want to be in his life permanently, and let him set the pace for introductions. Once the kids meet you, there is no going back, so it would be unfair to establish a friendship with them if there is no intention to see it through.” Mahesh also suggests to be prepared for them to be wary or hostile. “After all, they see you as the new person in their father’s life, and know you will occupy some amount of attention,” he says.