That Newlywed Dread

You’ve married into a new family and are hoping for the best, while bracing for the big change.

- Anindita Ghosh 

I had made it very clear to Mohit* that I would not be living with his family after marriage,” says Stuti*, a 31-year-old from Delhi. “Imagine my horror, when I found my mother-in-law driving down to our place every day on some pretext or the other! Here we are, five years into marriage, with my mother-in-law in semi-permanent residence, still holding forth on how I should run my household, raise the kids and care for her darling son!”

Even if you’re not living Stuti’s Everybody Loves Raymond nightmare, chances are the months (perhaps years) immediately after you got married were spent getting to know not your brand new husband, but his family. Assimilating into a new culture always brings a certain amount of stress, no matter how nice everyone is being. And if they don’t bother to be nice, that’s a whole other kettle of fish. Then, power struggles, negativity and manipulation become fixtures in your home life. But there is a way to change this tired old script. If you’re a new bride, or about to become one, read on to find out how to spare yourself that newlywed angst.