Dealing With Disappointment

Disappointment can be crushing, but we don’t have to stay crushed, says ANDANJE WOBANDA. Here are 13 ways to rise above it.

- Andanje Wobanda

From the moment we become adults, we have expectations. We want to go to a good school and graduate with near perfect scores. We want to land a dream job or have a successful career. We want to meet the perfect man, marry and have two and a half children, or travel the world and meet fascinating people. Whether our expectations are big or small (for instance, we may expect our tea to always be piping hot and just right), it’s a fact of life that we will be disappointed somewhere along the way. If we let it, that disappointment can lead to anger, resentment, envy, depression – even poor health. So how do we ensure disappointment doesn’t get the best of us? Here are some pointers:

IT’S PART OF LIFE

If there is one predictable thing in life, is that you WILL be disappointed. Your friends will turn on you, that dress you bought online will be too small, or the job you have been coveting will go to someone else. MANAGE disappointment by accepting that it is INEVITABLE – and be READY for it.

GIVE IT A NAME 

Psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson says you should find a WORD for how you feel. Are you disappointed, resentful, or afraid? LABELLING your feelings helps you make SENSE of your experience, which in turn helps you deal with the situation in a RATIONAL way.

TAKE IT IN YOUR STRIDE 

Do not lash out. As much as you are allowed to let your feelings out, do not go overboard. That nasty email you thought of sending to HR just because you did not get the promotion you thought was yours? Delete it. You don’t need to make a bad situation worse! Allow yourself to FEEL the emotion but do not ACT on it.

CRY IF YOU MUST