Parting Ways

Ending a marriage is tough. Two women tell us why they got divorced young, and what they learnt about love and marriage in the process.

- Adora Wong

Caroline*, 31 dated her ex-husband for eight years before getting married at 28. They divorced two years later.

“I for him because met Jason* through a mutual hobby. I fell he was very open and emotionally expressive. It was a refreshing change, as I had come from a family that operated on tough love.

However, his expressiveness swung both ways – he would also get aggressive when angry. And while we were a loving couple, our relationship was a rollercoaster ride as we had many differences. For a long time, I was unsure if he was the right one for me, but we continuously tried to make the relationship work. I accepted his proposal after I saw the amount of effort he put into curbing his temper.

There wasn’t a particular fight or incident that caused our marriage to break down. It happened because the issues just kept building up. Besides a clash of personalities (I’m straightforward and easygoing while Jason is sensitive and emotionally-charged), he had many expectations of me. Plus, he had anger management issues and would verbally abuse me whenever we fought. He’d also engage in violent behaviour and smash objects or punch the wall. Although he never hit me, there were occasions when I was manhandled.

It didn’t help that he was insecure, so my frequent travels and networking opportunities were always a cause of concern to him. He’d also try to assert himself over my choices. For example, he once told me he’d leave me if I became a flight attendant as he couldn’t accept a partner who’d be constantly away from home. Another time, he was so angry when I failed to text him when I was overseas that he threatened a divorce. He even went to my parents’ house to tell them that.