Who doesn’t feel anxiety? But what if that feeling won’t go away? This newscaster has a solution
I SAT IN THE ROCKER IN OUR BEDROOM staring at the blood pres-sure monitor, dreading what the numbers would say. I could hear my mom cooing in the other room, cradling my newborn son, Ayden. It should have been the happiest time of our lives. A baby boy in perfect health. My husband, Paul, and I were blessed, richly blessed. But I couldn’t see it that way.
I was so afraid I wouldn’t live long enough to see Ayden’s first birthday. Any day now, I could die, I thought. I couldn’t turn off the negative tape playing in my thoughts. My head throbbed; my heart raced. Here I was home, finally home, and I felt as if I were millions of miles away, trapped in fear. “I want my wife back,” Paul had said. I wanted my old self back too, the relentless, intrepid woman I used to be, the news reporter, the broadcaster who never hesitated to ask a subject a difficult question on live TV. Now I trembled at greeting each day.
If only I could just find a way to retrain my thoughts. To keep them from veering off into this pervasive negativity.
I gazed at the bookshelf across the room. There was an old paperback Bible, a read-in-one-year version that had been my constant companion in the early days of my career, when I worked at local stations in Michigan and Indiana. Before I got my job as a national news correspondent for ABC, I went through that Bible three times, marking and underlining favorite passages. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day’s own trouble be sufficient for the day.
This story is from the July 2018 edition of Guideposts.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the July 2018 edition of Guideposts.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
What prayer can do
POWER IN OUR DAY-TO-DAY LIVES
Rejoice in All Things
My husband and I had an annual tradition of celebrating the high points of the year. This time, he wanted to try something different
Special Delivery
A month after my wife died and my life felt so empty, the only thing I had to look forward to was Amazon
A Prayer for Cullen
Even in a family crisis, I had trouble quieting my mind enough to listen for God
Blackie & Rosebud
What would happen to my friend's cats now that she was gone?
The Kids Are Alright
My twin boys and I had always been close. I thought they needed me. Now I wasn't so sure
Kindred Spirits
I thought the nose ring gave it away—she was just another teenager. I couldn't imagine how she could help me
A Boy Named Sue
In 1969, Johnny Cash and his wife, June, threw a party at their house in Hendersonville, Tennessee, a “guitar pull,” where guests passed around a guitar and tried out new songs.
Active Duty
I'd tried everything for my knee - physical therapy, gel injections, a cumbersome brace. Everything except prayer
Living an Abundant Life
A conversation with spirituality and health researcher Harold G. Koenig, M.D., on what makes people truly happy