Do you feel inadequate and not up to the task? That may be your perfectionist streak speaking – and it is sabotaging your chances of success. Here’s how to silence that inner critic.
When it comes to getting what we want in life, having high standards can be a good thing. It keeps us focused on our goals, makes us stand out from the crowd, and – with the right amount of effort – even lead to some big rewards.
What happens, though, when that high-achieving mindset becomes too big a burden and that harsh inner critic rears its ugly head all too often?
It may be that you are a perfectionist. While it sounds positive on the surface, this modern-day affliction can do more harm than good. Whether it is agonising for a week over a simple task at work or not being able to rest before you have cleaned the house from top to bottom, perfectionism can hold us back, make us sick, and ironically, make us fail.
Former perfectionist Eloise King says it is a mindset that can turn you into your own worst enemy.
“You are highly stressed all the time as you are either beating yourself up for something you have not done perfectly, or you are wishing for something in the future where life was more perfect,” she explains. “This self-flagellation takes place whenever something is perceived to have gone wrong. You do everything in your power not to make a mistake, but when you do, you are so flooded with negativity that you cannot learn from it or see it as the lesson that it is.”
For Eloise, it took burning out to make her realise that things needed to change.
“It just felt like everything in my life had been programmed from a place of constant stress and fear,” she says. “I needed my decisions and actions to come from somewhere that was more loving and more creative.”
When Perfection Becomes Exhausting
When does being “Type A” tip over into something more serious? Psychologist Sara Chatwin says perfectionism is about striving to the point where it becomes detrimental to one’s wellbeing.
This story is from the November 2018 edition of The Malaysian Women\'s Weekly.
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This story is from the November 2018 edition of The Malaysian Women\'s Weekly.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
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