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Fancy a 99, darling?
WATCHING LOVER EAT ICE CREAM GIVES BRITS HOTS
Barrymore: I'm too busy with TikTok to be on box
NEW ARMY OF FANS ONLINE
JOHN: I WANNA GET OUT MY SEX PISTOL..
Lydon’s porn film hope
Footie lan: Dad's spirit in car radio
PREM ACE FATHER GHOSTS INTO BOX
SEXTERMINATE
Hackers could make pleasure dolls blackmail & kill owners
Complete twerps of Shakespeare!
WOKE WARNING ON THE BARD’S ‘AS YOU LIKE IT’
COPS: EVERY CRIME WILL BE PROBED..
POLICE chiefs will pledge to investigate every crime with a “reasonable lead” after years of slacking.
Ben Soaks
SKIPPER: RAIN, RAIN GO AWAY
Pep: I'm no GOAT
PEP GUARDIOLA insisted he is no footballing god – and also dismissed suggestions that he is now the greatest of all time.
SANDALS ARE PEAK STUPIDITY
Nevis numpties alert
£145 for Prem top
FANS’ KIT STITCH UP
MY SOUL MATE
Singer ditches ghosts & signs for C4 First Dates
E.T. DON'T CLONE THE PHONES!
Earth’s mobile ‘leak’
LUCKY DAVES BORN WINNERS
DAVES are officially the luckiest folk out there.
BOBBY: I'LL STAND UP TO HEARTACHE
Comedy helps star cope with fiancée’s death
Bride 'n' Gloom
WOKE BLOKES TAKING FIANCEE TO ‘STAG DOS’
RISE & RISE OF BAKERIES
Brits love fresh healthy bread
A Vondr woman
AS first wedding anniversaries go this is a pretty special way to celebrate.
DATES SO SHADY
Sunglasses-wearers’ profiles not trusted
Booked club
LAGS QUEUE UP TO READ
BLOOMIN' LOVE THE GERMANS
Brits say it with flowers
Watching Barbie can make you fat
FANS YEARN FOOD IF THEY GLIMPSE PINK
'HUGE UFO HIDDEN IN BUILDING'
Wreck’s too big to shift
AI another day
007 NERD TO LEAD WAR ON TERMINATORS
DOPEY!
New Snow White film replaces the seven dwarfs with magic creatures
Bed bangers
METAL FANS TOP POLL FOR MOST LOVERS BONKED
INHERITANCE TAX AXE PLOT
Govt bid for ‘blue wall’ votes
On his knees
LOSING STOKES REAL POSSIBILITY
Neville: Liam’s a thicko
NOEL’S THE BRIGHT ONE SAYS FOOTIE STAR GARY
DOING SLIME!
Lag complains prison grub is full of bogeys