CATEGORIES

NOWAY THE LADS!

Geordies nip to the loo to dodge round

HAAL YOU CAN EAT MENU..

MANCHESTER City star Erling Haaland has been dubbed an “eating machine” by team-mates, who have been left open-mouthed by his love of grub.

WASTEMINSTER

Parliament throws out more than a metric tonne of subsidised grub

‘I do believe spooks were in tunnel at crucial time’ – SAYS DI’S BODYGUARD

PRINCESS Diana’s ex-bodyguard thinks that British spies were on the scene at the crash that killed her – then launched a frantic effort to cover their tracks.

CLEAN-LIVING GEN Z ‘OLD BEFORE TIME’

Experts: Young adults anxious with boring lives

SAS ‘GUARDS WORLD CUP’

Troops ready to kill terrorists

Silva sub story as Pep shows he is no fan of dissent

BERNARDO SILVA is finding out that you cross Pep Guardiola at your peril.

Lampard needs to recruit a prolific striker... and fast

FRANK LAMPARD'S very existence as Everton boss will almost certainly hinge on whether he can get himself a striker.

The Great British Berk Off

HOLLYWOOD: THAT’S HOW I FEEL IN LYCRA

APPEAL FOR BABS’ ARMY

Dementia drive will Carry On

‘I’VE BEEN HAUNTED BY 2 GEORGE BESTS’

Alex saw late ex plus ghost of same name

WE’VE NEVER BEEN MORE MISERABLE

Brits at their lowest ebb in a decade

‘SEX IN SUN IS A PASSION KILLER’ FEAR

BONKING Brits are being urged to cool their passion – as heatwave sex could kill.

RUSHDIE KNIFING A ‘FREE SPEECH ATTACK’

Writers in shock, JK told ‘you’re next’

Plug-ugly Bozo powering down

WILL the last person to leave the UK please turn out the lights.

BIG BOOBS MEAN A LOVING CUP

WOMEN with bigger boobs are less likely to cheat on their partner.

A NU STYLE

Klopp after major focus on system

Mentality MONSTERS

MIND OVER MATTER FOR CAPT BEN

SHINE ON, PAUL

SHAUN RYDER EXCLUSIVE | My tragic Happy Mondays bruv is still with us.. his ‘energy’ won’t die

OUT ON THE LASH AGE 14

EASTENDERS NATALIE | ‘Soap stars took me on club nights’

ARCHIE FOUGHT RIGHT TO END..

Mum: I’m so proud of my beautiful boy

Give us more laughs.. & no lectures, BBC SAYS TV LEGEND SU

TELLY legend Su Pollard has hit out at the BBC for making its comedy shows political.

Strictly hunts a Lioness

FOOTIE CHAMP DANCER TARGET

XMAS PREP UNDER WAY

Shoppers bag summer bargains

WAGs to riches with Lionesses

THERE have been two very different tales of women and the beautiful game recently.

GENTLEMAN TOM’S MAN ON A MISSION

‘Cruise in a League of his own’

Old guard not laughing now

ANYONE avoiding sport last weekend could have stumbled on an oasis of laughter.

Birth of a monster

PREY | Cert 15 | On Disney+ now

Emma still not at her Rad-ical best

EMMA RADUCANU’S Citi Open run has ended with a quarterfinal defeat against Liudmila Samsonova in Washington.

Mo bowled over

INTERNATIONAL FORMAT IS TOO MUCH