Why Am I Paying For Your Party?
Cosmopolitan - South Africa|July 2018

As much as we want to celebrate our friends’ and family’s big life moments, when did it start becoming normal for the host to charge guests for their party? #GuestsDontPay

Jaime Waddington
Why Am I Paying For Your Party?

‘You’re paying for me, right? It is my birthday!’ Shook. Me, moments before forking out an extra R400 for the birthday girl who expected us to pay for her portion of the dinner she organised. Another time, it was a colleague who invited me to her farewell drinks. After getting lit, she left early without paying her share, expecting us – the guests – to pick up the tab. WTF? Sometimes I’d like to attend a party without dropping a cool grand on a gift, paying for my food and having to chip in for the guest of honour. When did ‘you play, you pay’ become a thing?

The (expensive) new trend

‘This is definitely new,’ says owner of Blue Bird Bespoke Eventing Jules Illing. ‘Back in our parents’ day, the most you might pay for was a gift for the host. Today, friends will often invite you to a BYO booze/food/sides/dessert braai, or to a birthday dinner at an expensive restaurant they’ve always wanted to try – but you foot the bill.’

Ntombi Mazibuko, 26, is still bleak about a friend’s birthday party she attended last year. ‘When I was asked what I wanted to eat, I was surprised as I thought we were only having drinks. I ordered a meal, not wanting to be the odd one out. A few days later, I got a message from the host saying I owed her R500 for my share of the meal, drinks and – get this – party decorations!’

Not only is this happening at parties, it’s becoming ever more common at weddings. ‘I did a wedding for a couple who had food trucks outside where guests had to buy their own food,’ says Illing.

This story is from the July 2018 edition of Cosmopolitan - South Africa.

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This story is from the July 2018 edition of Cosmopolitan - South Africa.

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