Do You Have Patriarchy Stress Disorder? (Short answer: YES, you do)
Fairlady|May/June 2021
Forget the glass ceiling; the final frontier of women’s liberation lies in our own biology, says Russian-American psychologist Dr Valerie Rein. She believes that ancestral trauma – specifically, thousands of years of patriarchal oppression – has led to trauma adaptations passed down through generations that still imprison us. She calls it patriarchy stress disorder, and this is how it works.
Robyn Maclarty
Do You Have Patriarchy Stress Disorder? (Short answer: YES, you do)

Chances are you’ve come across this Marianne Williamson quote: ‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frighten us.’ I used to vacillate between rolling my eyes and scratching my head when I heard it. It sounded profound and meaningful, but also made no sense to me. She didn’t explain why we’d be afraid of ‘being powerful beyond measure. That sounded pretty great to me. Why would anyone be afraid of it? So I dismissed it.

Until that is, I encountered the work of Dr Valerie Rein.

And then I understood.

I understood how it could be that we – women, specifically – could be terrified of our power. So terrified we hide it almost at any cost… without even realising we’re doing it. Welcome to a patriarchy stress disorder, or PSD.

Through her extensive work with women as a psychologist and life coach, Dr Rein has uncovered that most of us go through life with our subconscious signaling‘ unsafe!’ when we choose to pursue wealth, pleasure, power, relaxation, fulfillment and independence. But why would we do that?

Because of patriarchy, Dr Rein says – but not patriarchy as we know it today. While we can all agree there’s still room for improvement (such as addressing gender-based violence, institutionalized discrimination, objectification and the pay gap), women today have the same rights as men in that we can own property, hold down a job, and have our own bank accounts and money. And we can vote. We have gone through some radical liberations in a relatively short time.

This story is from the May/June 2021 edition of Fairlady.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

This story is from the May/June 2021 edition of Fairlady.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

MORE STORIES FROM FAIRLADYView All
'DESIRE IS NOT WHAT MATTERS'
Fairlady

'DESIRE IS NOT WHAT MATTERS'

Emily Nagoski wrote the book on women and desire - literally. And then her own sex life dried up. Here's what a prolonged sex drought (and a load of research) taught her about maintaining intimacy in a long-term relationship.

time-read
9 mins  |
July/August 2024
'We have to tell HARD STORIES'
Fairlady

'We have to tell HARD STORIES'

Theatre director and playwright Yaël Farber is spending time in South Africa after her critically acclaimed run of King Lear at the Almeida Theatre in London. We chatted to her about the importance of the pursuit of truth.

time-read
6 mins  |
July/August 2024
THE WHY, THE WHICH & the wardrobe
Fairlady

THE WHY, THE WHICH & the wardrobe

We really got into it this month! Read on for more on the allure of a loosey-goosey jumpsuit, vintage-hunting and jingle-jangling jewellery, the best places to find quality African design and short-girl styling tips.

time-read
10+ mins  |
July/August 2024
LIFT your GAME
Fairlady

LIFT your GAME

Thought weightlifting was just for bodybuilders and powerlifters? Not so. In fact, 'lifting heavy shit' may be the secret to longevity, hormone regulation and mood for women through perimenopause and beyond.

time-read
8 mins  |
July/August 2024
TREATMENT PLAN ON YOUR MARKS
Fairlady

TREATMENT PLAN ON YOUR MARKS

Armed with a six-month programme from Dr Nerina Wilkinson + Associates, Jennifer Morin set about tackling her sun damage and melasma.

time-read
8 mins  |
July/August 2024
PLAYING YOUR CARDS RIGHT
Fairlady

PLAYING YOUR CARDS RIGHT

Here's how to get the most out of loyalty cards.

time-read
5 mins  |
July/August 2024
BIG SKY Country
Fairlady

BIG SKY Country

Namibia. Twelve friends, five vehicles, 4000 km, thirteen days. Eight punctures, one angle grinder. One martial eagle, one full moon, one ghost town. Plenty of top-quality braais, maybe not quite enough oysters... and the best time ever.

time-read
9 mins  |
July/August 2024
IS YOUR HOME MAKING YOU SICK?
Fairlady

IS YOUR HOME MAKING YOU SICK?

Leaks, damp and poor ventilation in old or poorly built new homes are being fingered for a growing health concern: mould.

time-read
7 mins  |
July/August 2024
HOW TO REALLY GET TO KNOW SOMEONE
Fairlady

HOW TO REALLY GET TO KNOW SOMEONE

The Korean word 'nunchi' describes 'the ability to be sensitive to other people's moods and thoughts'. It's an underrated skill that we seem to have lost.

time-read
9 mins  |
July/August 2024
How to write a memoir
Fairlady

How to write a memoir

Whether you want to share your experiences and insights with the world, leave a legacy or track pivotal experiences for yourself, writing your memoir can be a grand and worthwhile adventure. Here's some advice on how and where to begin.

time-read
7 mins  |
July/August 2024