Earlier this year I found myself sitting at a table in a Melbourne cafe, feeling uncomfortable and self-conscious as I tried to summon the courage to talk to one of the other customers. I had started 2020, as many of us do, by downloading an app with the expectation it would transform me into an all-round better person. My first task was to find someone drinking a coffee and engage them in conversation. The researcher who developed the app says small talk is a powerful tool to combat loneliness and cultivate a sense of community. Her studies have shown measurable improvements in people’s moods and mental health if they take the time to talk to strangers. But interrupting the solitude of the people reading their newspapers seemed like a big social risk, and I was not confident it would pay off.
As I fought against my instinct to stay quiet, the words of the app’s designer were playing in my head. “Nothing horrible happens if someone doesn’t want to talk to you,” UK psychologist Gillian Sandstrom had told me. She had observed that people often wrongly assume others won’t like us, or will think we’re weird if we try to talk to them. But her research found only about 10 per cent of people will resist an attempt to engage in friendly chit-chat, and she reminded me rejection isn’t a big deal.
Gazing at the stony faces in the cafe, I was sceptical, but then I spotted a workaround – the barista was smiling as he frothed some milk. I had detected an Italian accent when I’d ordered so I sidled up to the counter.
“What part of Italy are you from?”
This story is from the April 2020 edition of The Australian Women's Weekly.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the April 2020 edition of The Australian Women's Weekly.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
Hitting a nerve
Regulating the vagus nerve with its links to depression, anxiety, arthritis and diabetes - could aid physical and mental wellbeing.
Take me to the river
With a slew of new schedules and excursions to explore, the latest river cruises promise to give you experiences and sights you won’t see on the ocean.
The last act
When family patriarch Tom Edwards passes away, his children must come together to build his coffin in four days, otherwise they will lose their inheritance. Can they put their sibling rivalry aside?
MEET RUSSIA'S BRAVEST WOMEN
When Alexei Navalny died in a brutal Arctic prison, Vladimir Putin thought he had triumphed over his most formidable opponent. Until three courageous women - Alexei's mother, wife and daughter - took up his fight for freedom.
The wines and lines mums
Once only associated with glamorous A-listers, cocaine is now prevalent with the soccer-mum set - as likely to be imbibed at a school fundraiser as a nightclub. The Weekly looks inside this illegal, addictive, rising trend.
Jenny Liddle-Bob.Lucy McDonald.Sasha Green - Why don't you know their names?
Indigenous women are being murdered at frightening rates, their deaths often left uninvestigated and widely unreported. Here The Weekly meets families who are battling grief and desperate for solutions.
Growing happiness
Through drought flood and heartbreak, Jenny Jennr's sunflowers bloom with hope, sunshine and joy
"Thank God we make each other laugh"
A shared sense of humour has seen Aussie comedy couple Harriet Dyer and Patrick Brammall conquer the world. But what does life look like when the cameras go down:
Winter baking with apples and pears
Celebrate the season of Australian apples and pears with these sweet bakes that will keep the midwinter blues away.
Budget dinner winners
Looking for some thrifty inspiration for weeknight dinners? Try our tasty line-up of low-cost recipes that are bound to please everyone at the table.
