'Every month I would plan my own death due to PMDD'
New UK|November 25, 2024
Shalina Casey, 48, of Hampshire, suffers from the same condition as TV stars Vicky Pattison and Kristina Goodsell. Here, she shares her story
SARAH MORTON
'Every month I would plan my own death due to PMDD'

'The second I heard the huge crash coming from my 13-year-old daughter's room, I ran upstairs with my heart thumping out of my chest. When I swung open the door to Avianna's bedroom, I found her sobbing on the floor, clutching her hand. Glancing at the wall, I saw the plasterboard had been ripped apart with sudden force. It was clear she'd put her fist straight through it. As I begged her to tell me what happened, my sweet little girl just looked up at me with tear-soaked eyes. She told me she was angry - and she had no idea why. It was then that my heart sank. I could have been looking at myself, 30 years earlier.

Avianna may not have understood why her emotions were doing this, but I certainly did. I gently asked her if she was on her period. When she confirmed she was, I felt tears spring to my eyes.

I have suffered from Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) since I was a teenager. It's a condition that has left me on the verge of suicide multiple times. For two weeks a month, just before, during and after my period, for every month of every year, my world effectively ended as I plummeted into a hole so dark I was convinced there was no way out. It was my biggest fear that my daughter would one day inherit this evil curse and yet here she was.

Curled up in a ball, a fist imprinted in her wall, sobbing, all because of her menstrual cycle. I felt horrendously guilty. This was the first time she'd really acted out so violently.

It raised alarm bells straight away.

It all started when I got my first period at the age of 14. From that moment on, my life spiralled into a tumultuous journey filled with mood swings and angry outbursts.

WHAT IS PMDD?

This story is from the November 25, 2024 edition of New UK.

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This story is from the November 25, 2024 edition of New UK.

Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.

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