Born To Win

What does it mean to thrive as a man in our society? Carissa Wong examines why men feel the omniscient pressure to win, its negative impact and how we can change it.

- Carissa Wong

We talk to boys and men with facts. Cut and dry, goal-oriented, with little to no focus on emotion. Society tells men to win, lead, provide and prosper. They are told what to achieve, which goals to chase and that they should always be wanting more, bigger and better. There is incessant pressure to be the best in order to prove their worth, show that they're the strongest and be 'man enough'. But what does that really mean?

TOXIC MASCULINITY

Beyond ingrained societal ideologies, social media movements such as 'alpha male' culture further enforce the expectation of winning. Toxic masculinity, referring to stereotypical social guidelines set for men and manliness, ultimately have a negative impact on both men and women.

Exposure to toxic masculinity, which often involves showy displays of wealth and exploitation of women, makes it even easier for men to feel lacking. The proverbial bar of success has gone from challenging to downright impossible. Even during something as light-hearted as exercise, the pressure to prove one's masculinity can be overbearing.

I see newcomers weekly as a yoga teacher. Women come in excited and maybe a little shy, telling me they might not be good at this but are eager to try. Men, however, often display an added layer of embarrassment. They'll blush, avert their eyes, choose a corner at the back and assert that it's their first time doing something like this.