Beat those FESTIVE FALLOUTS

Dreading any festive family wrangles? Relationship expert Sue Quilliam is here to help you have a harmonious Christmas.

It's coming up to Christmas and soon - if you haven't already you will be decking the halls with boughs of holly and spreading tidings of comfort and joy. As lovely as this sounds, when it comes to family the festive season is often the opposite of jolly.Tensio n can soar as celebrating with your nearest and dearest brings bad feelings to the surface or simmering resentments to the boil. Here are five common festive family flashpoints, and some essential survival tips.

Hosting hassles

The classic question 'who do we spend Christmas with?' can create huge tension. The issues here aren't just the practical ones of who hosts, who visits, who does the Christmas Eve drive and so on, but the meaning of the get-togethers. If your parents have separated, does staying with Dad mean he's valued more than Mum? Does going to your partner's family mean yours will feel unwanted? To sidestep the possibility of people taking offence, keep a rigorous balance, alternating years and splitting time between loved ones. Crucially, make it clear that deprioritising family members doesn't mean you care less. Words, gifts and video calls will soothe ruffled feathers.

Behaviour battles