The Brunch face-off

What's OK in a relationship today? And what's a total no-go? Actors Arjun Mathur and Adarsh Gourav weigh in on what's a red-flag when you're dating someone

- Karishma Kuenzang

Love crosses borders. It shatters defences. It breaks all the rules. But what happens if the rules keep changing? What happens when the "I love you" admission comes too late (or worse, too early!) in a relationship? At what point is it OK to meet the family? Can relationships hit Pause with both parties knowing what that even means?

We asked actors Arjun Mathur and Adarsh Gourav to weigh in on what constitutes a red flag in a relationship these days. Mathur, 42, was nominated for an Emmy for Made in Heaven (2019 - ), and is prepping for the release of Lord Curzon Ki Haveli, a dark comedy thriller, and is working on a series based on God of Sin. Gourav, 29, shot to fame with White Tiger (2020) and won us over in Guns & Gulaab (2023), and will soon be seen in Kho Gaye Hum Kahan. Both are in healthy relationships. Who better to call out red flags when they see them?

Ghosting the person you're dating.

Arjun: Red flag! The foundation of a relationship is being present. It's OK for you and your partner to want space every now and then. But it can't be an absence with one person not knowing what's going on. Why be in a relationship with a ghost?

Adarsh: Ghosting isn't something I take to kindly unless it's an emergency. If you have to disappear, the relationship wasn't honest.

Sharing social-media passwords.

Arjun: Not sure if this is a red flag. If someone wants to share them, then sure. But it's not okay to ask your partner for their passwords. My partner knows mine because I cycle between them.

Adarsh: You could. It makes it healthy because you trust each other and there's transparency. Go for it. 

PDA, or lack of it, on social platforms.