Don't be the FAMILY ATM

Does your heart sink when you see a text from a certain relative? Dealing with a financially needy family member can drain your pocket and wreck your relationships. Instead of jumping onto your banking app to do a quick money transfer, take a reality check

- SYLVIA WALKER

Family should always have each other’s back, particularly in times of need. Life happens –with retrenchments, unexpected medical expenses or even death or divorce, a relative may reach out for temporary financial help. However, if bailing someone out becomes a regular event, they may be financially irresponsible and abusing your kindness.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of enabling. ‘Our biggest mistake is to continue giving money to a family member who does nothing to change their situation,’ says Lizette Volkwyn, Master Life Coach and author. ‘When we lend money, we should insist that they make a permanent change and break the borrowing cycle.’

IF YOU SAY YES…

If you can afford to, you may agree to help in a number of ways, from giving cash to buying food or gift vouchers, or paying one or more of their bills. Make sure you are clear on whether this is a gift or loan. If it’s a loan, agree on how and when it will be repaid. Everyone’s then on the same page, but this isn’t foolproof – you may find that relative knocking on your door again, despite your ground rules. But you’ll just have to refer back to your conversation and stick to your guns.

DON’T EVER SIGN ON THE DOTTED LINE