"I'm not getting too dark here," Jimmy Anderson says quietly as we return to a time when he was a solitary boy in Burnley, "but I remember sitting in my room thinking: 'I wish I wasn't me. I wish I was someone else.' That's not a great place to be at 14. I didn't fit in at school or have a group of mates. The biggest thing for me then was the feeling of being lonely.
"I didn't have close friends. We didn't play cricket at school. I was seen as a bit of an odd person who liked cricket. Why would you like cricket when you can play football and these other amazing sports? I did play them, but obviously not to the same level as cricket. I just felt like an outcast."
Anderson is 42 now but still carries the lean and hungry look of the greatest English Test bowler there has ever been. But he was hurt again in April when Brendon McCullum and Ben Stokes ended his Test career. In his revealing and often moving book about cricket and life, which he wrote with Felix White, Anderson describes the encounter in jolting terms: "As I walk towards them, it hits me cold. This isn't a team appraisal, is it? I feel like Joe Pesci in Goodfellas, ushered into a room under the impression that I'm going to get made, only to be shot. You fuckers."
Andrew Strauss had tried the same cull in a 45-second phone call in 2022. Anderson refused to surrender and came back fitter and more determined. He writes: "I guess you'd rather be stabbed in the front than the back. This time, it's different. It's both kinder and harsher, more sympathetic and more ruthless and, worst of all, nauseatingly final."
This story is from the November 12, 2024 edition of The Guardian.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the November 12, 2024 edition of The Guardian.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
Arteta vows Arsenal will 'hammer' away at Reds' lead
Mikel Arteta has warned Liverpool that his Arsenal team are ready to hammer away at the points gap over the second half of the season if they wobble at the top of the Premier League table.
Madrid make first move Liverpool reject bid to lure Alexander-Arnold in January
Liverpool have rejected Real Madrid's attempt to sign Trent Alexander-Arnold in the January window.
Year to Forget: How United's 2024 Unravelled by the Month
May's FA Cup triumph did not save Erik ten Hag and by the end of December, as John Brewin writes, his successor was talking about relegation
Trossard on a quest to show Arteta he can fill Saka's boots
The Arsenal forward has been called 'a bit of a moaner' by his manager but he has a vital role to play this season
Contract sagas of Salah, Van Dijk and Alexander-Arnold act as a sideshow Slot does not deserve
Arne Slot dealt with the latest round of questions concerning Liverpool contract extensions, or lack of them, in his usual relaxed, affable manner at West Ham on Sunday.
Rooney leaves rock-bottom Plymouth after seven months
Wayne Rooney's time at Plymouth has come to an end after only seven months, with the Championship club announcing they have \"mutually agreed to part ways with immediate effect\", with the former Manchester United and England forward.
Cummins the conductor in Boxing Day Test for the ages
Life rarely meets expectation. At around this time each year, those realisations come knocking with increasing frequency.
A tale of two Tuchels: which will England get?
England's new head coach, whose 18-month contract begins today, is a tactical guru but there is an icy side to him
Cooler Kyrgios falls short on return in face of barrage from fiery Frenchman
As Nick Kyrgios returned to the singles court for just the second time in more than two years, he found himself digesting a dose of his own bitter medicine.
If I were in Andy Farrell's shoes ... Time to pick a Lions squad and XV to take on the Wallabies this summer
The Lions are stronger in certain areas than others and much hinges, in every sense, on Ireland's front row.