Since I was a little girl, I dreamt of a fairy-tale ending, of growing up and falling in love, settling down and starting a family S of my own. When I was eight, my parents split up but instead of making me afraid of relationships and commitment, it only made me want it more. Playing with my doll's house, there was always a mum, dad and lots of children in my games, and, perhaps somewhat naively, I always just assumed that ideal family set-up would come true for me one day. But, of course, real life isn't like a fairy story and throughout my 20s and 30s one failed relationship seemed to follow another.
I turned to online dating apps in the hope of finding someone I envisaged a future with. But every time, it ended in heartache and I'd call my mum, Jackie, in tears. Mum always comforted me and while she was well meaning, telling me it would happen when I least expected it, I didn't believe her.
Bittersweet
It was painful watching my friends start families and share their children's milestones with pride. I hated being jealous, but I was, and it became increasingly harder to be around them. It only served as a reminder of what I didn't have, and I isolated myself more and more over the years.
But I never let go of my dream to hold a baby in my arms one day and by the time I was 36, I knew I had to try something different. My longing for a little one was only getting stronger, and I realised I didn't need a man in order to become a mother. I searched online for information about using donor sperm but it was clear I couldn't afford the cost of IVF in the UK. So, in March 2017, I travelled to Ukraine for tests.
This story is from the December 18, 2023 edition of WOMAN - UK.
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This story is from the December 18, 2023 edition of WOMAN - UK.
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