England My Lyin' Heart

If only sanity had prevailed in America, he'd be number one. Accepting the runners-up spot on behalf of Boris, Gove, and every one of the several thousand cockshitters who voted to cut Britain's nose off to spite its face, it's the Crazy Frog himself.

- Humphrey Jaylynn

An open letter to Nigel Farage, MEP:

Dear Nigel:

Well, fuck.

At the start of this year, Your Dashing Correspondent honestly thought that you, you frog-faced turdnugget, would have vanished into the kind of pre-2013 semi-obscurity we’d once enjoyed you having. Sure, the referendum was a moronic idea from a Prime Minister who didn’t have the stones to tell you to sit down and shut up, but surely the British public wouldn’t be so utterly fucking stupid as to actually listen to the putrid bile you were throwing up?

Oh wait.

So you did it. You won. I’d say ‘fair and square’ but it blatantly wasn’t (more on that later, sports fans!), but for some reason the hatchet-in-a-dress who took over from Hit Me Davey One More Time seems to be taking the result as holy writ, so you won.

We’ve got to hand it to you, Nige. ‘It’ , in this case, being an angry death adder.