Love Lockdown

Navigating your love life during a global pandemic might leave you with more questions than a nationwide address on which stage we’re actually on. But the key to unlocking your love life during lockdown is a lot simpler than you think. Four SA sexologists are here to help you crack the code.

- Kelleigh Korevaar

LOVE LOCK #1:

“I met someone on a dating app at the beginning of the pandemic.”

THE KEY: Acknowledge the bad; focus on the good.

“This can be really tough, and I think that acknowledging that you really want to meet this person in the flesh is helpful, because they are likely feeling the same way,” says Catriona Boffard, clinical sexologist, and psychotherapist.

As lockdowns begin to lift around the world, Boffard suggests planning a walk together if you live within walking distance (and if it’s allowed, of course). Not possible? Regular phone calls are a great opportunity to get to know each other better, both emotionally and intellectually.

And it’s not all doom and gloom. A study published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences looked at 19 000 people who were married between 2005 and 2012. Those who met their spouses online said their marriage was more satisfying than those who met their spouses offline. Plus, the marriages that began online were less likely to end in separation or divorce.

LOVE LOCK #2:

“Our sex drives are completely different.”

THE KEY: Take it outside the bedroom.

Let’s be honest; global pandemics, murder hornets, and economic downturns aren’t exactly great foreplay.

If you have a higher sex drive than your partner right now, Boffard recommends focusing on other ways to feel close, like non-demand touching (touching with no expectation or outcome in mind) and cuddling – which is great for your emotional well-being. In one study, a hug and just 10 minutes of handholding greatly reduced stress. And we could all use a hug right now, scientific benefits aside.