Grammaticabobble Rammed Down Our Throats

I SUFFERED SORE DISMAY AT THE AGE of ten-or-so upon learning that language was not for pleasure, it was for discipline.

- Harold Strachan

Discipline such as would make one an example in Natal, British Empire. A dreadful teacher appeared with underclothing such as would make one believe she had but one large central buttock and no place for a poephol as expected on a low-class person. She was now going to teach us not to speak like low-class persons, like colonials, but to disassemble everything we were about to say and quickly reassemble it as a proper grammaticabobble sentence. But you had to do this fast otherwise people would perhaps think you were a low-class person.

You should analyse each sentence into main and subordinate clauses and figures of speech and avoid all foreign words like Okay and Footsack. There were adjectival clauses and adverbial clauses, every clause had to have a verb, and you should never end a sentence with a preposition like What are you thinking of? You should say Of what are you thinking?