Are You Disciplining Right?

When it comes to disciplining preschoolers, ignoring tantrums or being too permissive can backfire. Here are common discipline mistakes to avoid.

- Jassmin Peter-Berntzen

When Jolin Chua became a mum, her top priority was to ensure she raised a happy and healthy child.

Her son, Keiran, now four, was her precious gift after many years of infertility, so all she wanted to do was put a smile on his face.

“I was obsessed with keeping him happy all the time. I equated crying and fussing to something negative and wanted to correct it immediately by giving in to his requests,” the 40-year-old sales manager recalls.

“It was successful in the beginning, but once he started growing up and becoming more vocal, I realised giving in constantly does come with consequences.”

Not only did little Keiran expect to get his way all the time at home or with his parents, he also expected the same treatment at the childcare centre and during playdates.

When things didn’t work out the way he wanted them to, Keiran would throw major tantrums. It was also at this time that Jolin noticed that he was struggling to settle into school and didn’t have a lot of friends.

“By putting my son’s happiness at the top of my priority list, I forgot to teach him how to follow rules or be kind,” Jolin adds.

“I realised I wasn’t setting him up for success, because in the real world, you can’t expect everyone to make you happy all the time.”

As parents, we only want the best for our kids. But in our quest to give them that, we sometimes don’t realise that the well-meaning things we say or do can do more harm than good.

Young Parents speaks to parenting and academic experts on what mums and dads are doing that unwittingly fuel bad behaviour in their preschoolers.

You ignore their tantrums

We’ve all been there. Our kid starts a major tantrum in the middle of a family gathering or supermarket trip.