VERY FEW OF MY APOCALYPSE FANTASIES qualify as cheerful, but there's one that brings a smile to my face: It's a few years into the future, and the world is ravaged by war and wildfires. A solemn-looking young boy and his determined father push a rusted shopping cart down a desolate street. Think Cormac McCarthy's The Road but real, and therefore tacky. The boy tugs at his dad's sleeve. "Father," he asks, "were you alive before everything fell apart?" The man nods. "What did you do to stop it?" The man crouches down, puts his hand on his son's shoulder, and-his eyes watering from emotion and ash-says, "I wrote a brutal one-star Yelp review for an animal shelter because they had a drag-queen story hour for rescue dogs."
We are facing disaster in about 60 different ways. Climate devastation? You bet. Fascism? On the rise. More pandemics? Seems likely. Civil war? Possibly. Nuclear war? Throw it on the pile. A new Red Hot Chili Peppers album? No: This year, we got two. Life in 2022 felt like waiting for the other shoe to drop, in a bed next to a space heater, in a building that could implode at any moment with no warning. The Doomsday Clock has been set to "we are 20 minutes late for Doomsday." The shit is real is what I'm saying. Instead of mobilizing to at least try to get something done, we largely retreated into the safety of empty outrage. In the face of problems we felt increasingly powerless to solve, we created little problems in our minds and demanded action against those. The prolonged and sometimes productive anger of 2020 gave way this year to a repeated and always performative gettin' up of dander. 2022 was all about Meta Rage.
This story is from the Winter 2023 edition of Esquire US.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the Winter 2023 edition of Esquire US.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
THE RISE AND RISE OF JANNIK SINNER
The world's number-one tennis player is winning MAJORS and dominating HIS rivals. Now comes the HARD PART.
ALL MONEY AIN'T GOOD MONEY
The current exponential proliferation of legal gambling preys on Black and brown people in unseen ways
DEAR FAMILY
Could my brother have made it any more obvious that he needed our help?
CORD CURRICULUM
You don't need to look like a rumpled college professor in your corduroys. The secret is picking the right pair.
Brogue Squadron
On the hunt for a dress shoe that doesn't feel too, well, dressy? Look no further.
THE G.O.A.T. OF CASHMERE
Why Loro Piana's take on luxury feels so right for right now
THE WORLD'S BEST ATHLETES TELL HER EVERYTHING
Taylor Rooks gets her NFL and NBA interview subjects to open up like they're in therapy
Sipping Liquid Gold
Whisky makers are releasing ever-pricier limited editions. What does a $35,000 bottle taste like? I boldly went to find out.
hasan minhaj had a very strange year
The comedian felt the wrath of the Internet AND lost a career-defining job opportunity. NOW he's back with an interview series, A NEW NETFLIX SPECIAL, and a fresh perspective on his COMEDY.
the perfect girl friend
Flirty, sexy, seductive, supportive. Your AI companion can be whatever you want her to be. And now a growing number of men are turning to bots to ease their loneliness or satisfy their kinks. The choices are endless. The emotions are real.