Anxious In The Arctic

Heading To The High Arctic Got Andy Schell So Stressed He Thought He Was Having Heart Trouble. Yet The Voyage Was To Be Magical

“Congratulations, captain.” Dave McKay, one of our regular crew aboard Isbjörn, had those words for me as we dropped anchor at 77°N in Spitsbergen. We’d made it to the high Arctic.

“Thanks Dave, but save it – you can congratulate me when we’re back out of the Arctic.”

Nobody talks about stress. For two months in the far north, every magical experience we had aboard Isbjörn, our 1972 S&S Swan 48, was dampened ever so slightly in a cloud of anxiety as we pushed the boundaries of our comfort zones and explored the unexplored regions of our confidence.

After nearly letting stress derail our Arctic season before it even started, in the end it was our ability first to acknowledge and finally to manage that stress that enabled us to stay in the moment and make our summer in the Arctic unforgettable.

The boat had spent the winter in the refit shed at Vindö Marin on the west coast of Sweden getting new systems installed for the Arctic. My wife, Mia, and I spent the winter at our farmhouse on the other side of Sweden managing the logistics. By 1 May, when our first crew joined the boat in Marstrand for the North Sea crossing to Orkney to start the season, I was mentally fried.

A relentless westerly blew for days. We killed time with weather briefings and a survival suit demo in the 8°C water. As the westerly blew and blew, I grew more and more anxious. We were about to depart on the most challenging season of our sailing career and we couldn’t even leave the dock. Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.

All of this was taking its toll on me and, crucially, I wasn’t allowing myself to admit it. I’m a pro, I’m a leader, I don’t get stressed, I can’t get stressed. Come on.