Lying on a hospital bed, staring at the screen, I gripped my fiancé Paul’s hand. ‘I’m so sorry,’ the sonographer told us, taking the Doppler off my stomach. ‘You’ve had a miscarriage.’ As my eyes searched the screen for a sign of life, I asked him to repeat what he’d said.
It was February 2015, and although Paul and I had been trying for a baby for months, we hadn’t realised I was pregnant, and I’d only been referred for a scan because I’d been bleeding heavily. But that didn’t make the news any less painful. As Paul did his best to comfort me, I could see the tears in his eyes.
For the last four years, he’d been such a good stepfather to my little girls, Lucy and Hannah, and we’d been desperate to have a baby together. ‘I feel like my chance at fatherhood has been snatched away,’ he murmured on the way home.
In the following days,we tried to stay positive and discussed trying again – but six weeks on, I was still bleeding, more heavily than a period. My GP assured me it was a common effect of miscarriage but, as time passed, it didn’t ease and I was in pain.
‘It could be an infection from the miscarriage,’ another doctor said, prescribing antibiotics. Then, in September 2015, I had a routine cervical screening.
‘Your cervix doesn’t look normal,’ the nurse said, not elaborating further, before referring me to hospital. As I went in for a colposcopy examination a week later, I convinced myself that everything was fine and it was just a precaution. I even told Paul not to bother taking time off his job as a landscape gardener to take me. Instead, his mum, Glynis, came along with me.
This story is from the September 23, 2019 edition of WOMAN'S OWN.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber ? Sign In
This story is from the September 23, 2019 edition of WOMAN'S OWN.
Start your 7-day Magzter GOLD free trial to access thousands of curated premium stories, and 9,000+ magazines and newspapers.
Already a subscriber? Sign In
MIND OF MY OWN
The Woman's Own columnist has her say on the gender gap, cats and timed hugs
Check out CHICAGO
With a spectacular skyline, sandy beaches and great food, the Windy City is calling, says Zoe West
LET'S EMBRACE OUR CHRISTMAS TAT!
Becky Dickinson explains why she'll still be rocking around her tinsel-strewn tree this year
BURIED SECRETS
We look at the shocking cases of celebrities posthumously accused of being sexual predators-and how they got away with it
FESTIVE NO-BAKES
Pop on the Christmas tunes and whip up a batch of these easy sweet treats
PROTECT YOUR SMILE
Are you doing enough to look after your teeth and gums?
'TIS THE SEASON TO SHINE!
At last, Hayley McCrossan, 39, feels fit and healthy
FOR THE LOVE OF TOM
When Deborah Mitchell, 57, lost her son, she vowed to help other families facing the same heartbreak
THE NURSE WHO LEFT MY GRANDAD FOR DEAD belict
Rachael Fealey, 31, had one question for the woman who killed her beloved Grampa - how could you?
Coleen's MONEY WORRIES
What are the reasons behind her financial and marriage fears?