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LET COUNSELLOR KEREN LIGHTEN YOUR LOAD

Dealing with unwelcome attention

Q I lost my husband 18 months ago, which was hard. My friends and their partners were very kind to me and helped me through the early stages of my grief, both emotionally and practically. But it seems that a couple of the men think I'm now available to listen to their troubles, or be a friend with benefits. One has even suggested he leaves his wife (and my friend) for me. How do I tell them to stop, when I don't want to lose the friendship of their partners? Cynthia, Folkestone

A You just tell them. Thank them for the support they have given you. Tell them that you're feeling much more able to cope, and you would rather they didn't visit on their own.