Cheste Pains
Performance Bikes|January 2018

In 1987, PB’s editor sent three grown men to the Bol d’Or on two-stroke 125s, resulting in a tale of misery, hilarity and adventure. 30 years later, we’re doing it again – but this time, it’s four-strokes, and the destination is mid-Spain, in winter...

Chris Newbigging
Cheste Pains

I STILL FEEL BAD for what I did to Rupert,” Mat Oxley says when I tell him we’re paying tribute by recreating the feature that originated the boys road trip format now common in magazines and even TV. “You vicious, vicious bastard.”

The result of sending three poorly prepared young men across France on restricted two-strokes was 1500 miles that were more eventful than you could have in a year of roaming Europe on a GS. They got lost, they broke down, rode until delirium set in and, above all, they were flat-out and committed everywhere. The three protagonists – Rupe, Trev and a bloke called Joe, reflect on the trip with fondness, even if death seemed like an attractive option at times during the actual event...

So I had the bright idea of recreating it three decades later when I happened across the pages in our archive. “When’s the Bol? Four days time you say? Shit.” So Plan B was formed: modern, more reliable, but slower four-strokes. To offset the reduced hassle of the bikes, they would be sent further – to mid-Spain, for the last round of MotoGP in Valencia, and the organised chaos of the pre-race party in Cheste – the spiritual successor to the drunken mayhem and bike abuse of the Bol d’Or in the 1980s.

I was going to go myself, but it coincided with my son’s first birthday. Unwilling to miss it (or risk extreme spousal violence), I dispatched three contributors: Mark White, John McAvoy and photographer Simon Lee.

The questions were: would tiny valves and pistons deal with days flat-out? Would their route over the Pyrenees lead them to an active ski resort? Would vegan Whitey die of starvation? And just to spice things up, the Catalan region decided to break away from Spain and become a scene of unrest and roadblocks, just before they were due to cross it... This is the story of three mates, three bikes and 1800 miles...

This story is from the January 2018 edition of Performance Bikes.

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This story is from the January 2018 edition of Performance Bikes.

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